What Are Your Post-Divorce Deal-Breakers?


Your marriage has come to an end, and it was undoubtedly a painful ordeal. Now that you’ve gone through the painstaking emotional and financial details, it’s time to take an objective look at what your marriage was and wasn’t. Divorce is never pleasant, but it can offer some valuable lessons about what you want for your future relationships, including your personal boundaries and understanding of a healthy relationship. In this article, we will explore the process of moving on after divorce and embarking on a new journey towards a fulfilling and meaningful relationship.

Are You Ready for a New Relationship?

After a divorce, it’s natural to yearn for a fresh start and crave the things you enjoyed as a couple when your marriage was happy. You might miss the small interactions that made being married feel like home and wish for someone to share your day with. However, the heaviness of divorce requires time for grieving and healing before you can effectively move on. It’s essential not to bring the baggage of your past into a new relationship. Give yourself the alone time you need to process what has happened and assess your comfort level in a dating situation. Have you truly moved beyond your anger and unhappiness to be open to something new?

What Are You Looking for in a Partner?

Before diving into a new long-term relationship, it’s crucial to consider what you truly want. Reflect on the main sticking points of your previous marriage. Did it lack emotional maturity, effective communication, or healthy boundaries? Ensure that you’ve learned from the past and can identify red flags. Even if someone seems perfect, be cautious and promise yourself that you’ll walk away unless the relationship genuinely enhances your life.

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Questions to Ask Yourself About a Potential Partner

When you find someone with long-term potential, it can be exciting, but don’t let the thrill cloud your judgment. Second and third marriages often end in divorce, so it’s essential to be discerning this time around. Ask yourself if you and your potential partner have the same underlying goals and values. Make sure there is mutual respect and understanding of each other’s boundaries.

Do You Trust This Person?

Trust and honest communication are the foundation of a good relationship. Pay attention to how your potential partner interacts with others. If they aren’t honest with others, chances are they won’t be with you either. Trust your instincts and ensure that you feel comfortable and secure in the relationship.

Do You Accept Them as They Are?

Acceptance is crucial in any relationship. While some differences can be exciting at first, make sure you can embrace each other’s quirks and habits in the long run. Don’t enter a relationship expecting to change someone; instead, focus on finding someone whose values align with yours.

What Is Their History?

Understanding your potential partner’s history can provide valuable insights into their behavior. Look out for any patterns of infidelity, dishonesty, substance abuse, or other concerning behaviors. While people can change, consider whether you’re willing to accept any potential challenges their past might present.

Will They Be a Good Fit with Your Kids?

If you have children, their well-being is of utmost importance. Consider how your potential partner will fit into your family dynamic. Whether your kids are young or grown adults, ensure that your new partner can build a healthy relationship with them.

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Abuse: Always a Deal-Breaker

Under no circumstances should you tolerate abusive behavior in a relationship. Watch out for signs of potential abusive behavior, such as controlling tendencies or aggression. Remember that you deserve a loving and respectful partner.


Dating after divorce can be intimidating, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and new experiences. Take your time to heal from the past and focus on your well-being. Understand what you want in a partner and ensure that you’re on the same page with your potential match. Embrace the journey of finding a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. Remember, you deserve happiness and love.


  1. Is dating after divorce scary? Yes, it can be intimidating, but it’s also a chance to start anew and find happiness.
  2. Can I change my potential partner? It’s best to accept someone as they are rather than expecting them to change.
  3. How important is trust in a relationship? Trust is the foundation of a healthy and lasting relationship.
  4. Should I consider my children in a new relationship? Absolutely, your children’s well-being should be a top consideration.
  5. What if I encounter abusive behavior in a new relationship? Abuse is never acceptable, and you should prioritize your safety and well-being.

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