Divorce Survival Tips for ESTJ Personality Types


The ESTJ personality is characterized by being extroverted, sensing, thinking, and judging. These individuals are natural-born leaders who find energy in their interactions with others. Honesty and sensibility are highly valued traits, and they often feel a strong inclination to help and support the people around them. However, their high expectations from others may lead to challenges, especially when facing divorce.

In this article, we will explore the ESTJ personality type, the Myers-Briggs test, and tips for handling divorce with grace and understanding.

Understanding the ESTJ Personality

ESTJs are individuals who thrive in social settings and derive energy from being around others. They possess a strong sense of duty and responsibility and are known for their practical and realistic approach to life. These individuals excel in organizing and leading people, making them well-suited for leadership roles in various settings.

The Myers-Briggs Test and Personality Types

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a popular personality assessment that categorizes individuals into 16 different personality types, one of which is the ESTJ. Understanding your personality type can provide valuable insights into your strengths, weaknesses, and how you interact with others.

Tips for Handling Divorce as an ESTJ

Try to See Things from Your Ex’s Point of View

ESTJs may sometimes adopt a “my way or the highway” attitude, which can create conflict during a divorce. To foster understanding and compromise, take a step back when you’re feeling calm and try to view the issues from your ex-partner’s perspective. Cultivate curiosity rather than judgment and imagine their thought processes and emotions.

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Show Appreciation to Others

ESTJs may have a tendency to be critical, even though they do recognize the positive qualities in others. During a divorce, consider expressing appreciation and gratitude towards your ex-partner. A small act of kindness can go a long way in diffusing tension and promoting a more amicable environment.

Have a Plan for When Anger Strikes

As an ESTJ, you might struggle to control your temper when emotions run high. To preserve goodwill and maintain a constructive atmosphere, develop a backup plan to manage anger. Step away from the situation, take a walk, breathe deeply, or even inject humor when appropriate. Avoid letting anger jeopardize the outcome of important divorce negotiations.

Take Time for Yourself

ESTJs often prioritize the needs of others, sometimes neglecting their own well-being. Amid the stress of divorce, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care and dedicate time to activities that bring happiness and serenity. Remember, taking care of yourself is essential for successfully navigating this life-changing process.

Let It Go

Accept that you cannot control every aspect of the divorce process, including your ex-partner’s actions and family dynamics. Channel your energy into shaping your future rather than trying to control the past. Embrace the mantra of “live and let live” to find peace and move forward.

Recommended Reading for ESTJs

  1. What Are the Tools in Your Emotional First-Aid Kit? Discover strategies to cope with emotional challenges during and after a divorce.
  2. Divorce Support Groups and Coping With Divorce Explore the benefits of joining support groups to navigate the complexities of divorce.


Divorce can be a challenging and isolating experience, especially for an ESTJ personality. However, you are not alone. At Hello Divorce, we are dedicated to supporting individuals through the divorce transition, empowering them to embrace their next chapter with hope and confidence. Remember that divorce is not just a legal event; it’s a life-changing process, and seeking support and understanding can make all the difference.

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1. Can an ESTJ personality have difficulty expressing emotions during a divorce? Yes, ESTJs might find it challenging to openly express their emotions, as they often focus on practical aspects of the situation. However, seeking support and outlets for emotional expression can be beneficial.

2. Is it common for ESTJs to take charge during the divorce process? Yes, ESTJs tend to take on leadership roles and are likely to approach the divorce process in an organized and pragmatic manner.

3. How can an ESTJ handle co-parenting effectively after a divorce? Effective co-parenting for an ESTJ involves clear communication, setting boundaries, and prioritizing the child’s well-being above personal differences.

4. What if an ESTJ feels overwhelmed by the emotional aspects of divorce? Seeking the assistance of a therapist or counselor can provide valuable support in navigating the emotional challenges of divorce.

5. How can an ESTJ rebuild their life after divorce? By focusing on personal growth, setting goals, and engaging in activities that bring fulfillment, an ESTJ can embrace the opportunities that come with a new chapter in life.

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