7 Ways to Love Yourself More


Divorce can be an emotionally challenging and draining life event. It may leave us feeling unloved, questioning our self-worth, and seeking validation from outside sources. However, the key to moving forward and healing lies in embracing self-love. This article explores the concept of self-esteem, the importance of self-love after divorce, and science-backed ways to enhance self-esteem.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the perception of positive qualities and characteristics within one’s self-concept. It is tied to our physical self-image, accomplishments, capabilities, and how we measure up to our values and personal definitions of success. After divorce, self-esteem may suffer, and we may need to take active steps to rebuild it.

The Importance of Self-Love After Divorce

Divorce can leave individuals feeling emotionally vulnerable and unlovable. However, it’s crucial to recognize that self-love is not dependent on external factors or others’ opinions. In fact, this difficult life event presents an opportunity to learn to love ourselves more deeply and unconditionally.

Ways to Love Yourself More

Avoid Triggers or Set Boundaries

During the healing process, it’s essential to protect ourselves from triggers that can cause emotional distress. If a social gathering or certain songs make us feel down, it’s okay to decline invitations or avoid them. Setting boundaries with people and situations that don’t support our well-being is an act of self-love.

Validate Your Thoughts and Feelings – But Don’t Dwell on Them

Recognize that all feelings and thoughts are valid, especially during challenging times like divorce. Allow yourself to express emotions and acknowledge insecurities. However, avoid dwelling on negative thoughts for too long, as it can hinder progress. Learn to redirect your focus to more positive and productive aspects of life.

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Honor Your Accomplishments

Celebrate every victory, no matter how small. Completing tasks you’ve been procrastinating on or receiving recognition for your achievements deserves recognition. Celebrate yourself, be proud of your successes, and don’t shy away from acknowledging your accomplishments.

Seek Support

Even if you value your independence, reaching out for support during challenging times is crucial. Divorce can feel isolating, but there are others who can understand and empathize with your experiences. Connecting with others who have been through similar situations can provide the emotional support needed to heal.

Treat Yourself to Something You Don’t Need (But Want)

Indulge in little pleasures that bring joy without exceeding your means. Treating yourself to something special, whether it’s your favorite takeout, a small item, or a relaxing spa day, can lift your spirits and reinforce self-care.

Eat Something Nurturing

Nourishing your body with healthy, colorful meals is an act of self-love. Opt for whole, clean ingredients like fish, vegetables, salads, and soups. Proper nutrition can positively impact your mood and well-being.

Write Yourself a Love Letter

Take the time to write a heartfelt love letter to yourself. Remind yourself of your worth, strengths, and the love you deserve. Making promises to cherish and care for yourself daily can enhance self-love and self-appreciation.


Divorce is undoubtedly a challenging life event, but it doesn’t mean you are unlovable. Embrace the opportunity to strengthen your self-love and self-esteem. By practicing self-care, acknowledging your accomplishments, and surrounding yourself with support, you can move forward with confidence and eventually open yourself up to new love.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

  1. Is it normal to feel unlovable after a divorce?Yes, it’s entirely normal to feel that way after such a significant life change. However, it’s crucial to remember that divorce does not define your worth or lovability.
  2. Why is self-love important?Self-love is essential for maintaining healthy relationships, setting boundaries, and fostering a positive outlook on life. It provides a foundation for personal growth and resilience.
  3. Can seeking support from others really make a difference?Yes, seeking support from friends, family, or support groups can significantly help alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide valuable perspectives and guidance.
  4. What if I find it challenging to celebrate my accomplishments?Start with small victories and gradually work your way up. Celebrating even the tiniest achievements can boost your self-esteem and confidence.
  5. How can I start loving myself again?Begin by acknowledging and accepting your emotions and thoughts. Treat yourself with kindness, surround yourself with positivity, and practice self-care regularly.

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