6 ways to get closure after a relationship ends

6 Ways to Get Closure after a Relationship Ends

You’ve undoubtedly heard others speak about the need for “closure” after a relationship ends. You’ve probably needed it yourself, whether that was after you left a job or you grew apart from your first love. Now, if you’re ending your marriage, accepting that it’s over and truly moving on without letting it hold you back isn’t easy. However, it is crucial in order to make sense of what happened, learn what you need and can’t tolerate in a partnership, and ultimately move on. But how do you get closure after such an earth-shattering, soul-sucking experience? We’ve compiled six ways to get there ASAP.

Honor Your Feelings and Grieve the Relationship You Lost

When facing the end of a marriage, it’s natural to experience a rollercoaster of emotions. One of the most important steps to finding closure is to honor your feelings and allow yourself to grieve the relationship you lost. The grief process often involves five general phases: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, so don’t compare your progress to others.

Forgive Yourself

Looking back on your relationship, you may find yourself dwelling on “what ifs” and “if onlys.” While it’s okay to reflect on what happened and learn from your mistakes, it’s not okay to torture yourself with guilt. Forgive yourself for any shortcomings, as you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. Recognize that the end of a marriage is not solely your fault, and focus on starting a healthier life chapter.

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Forgive Your Ex

It’s essential to work through the anger you may be harboring towards your ex. Holding onto anger can have negative effects on your physical and emotional well-being. Realize that you might never receive a meaningful apology from your ex, and that’s okay. Forgiveness is not about letting them off the hook; it’s about releasing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment.

Block Your Ex on Social Media

In the digital age, it’s easy to maintain ties with anyone, including your ex, through social media. However, continuously following their posts can keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving on. Consider blocking them on social media platforms to avoid unnecessary pain and distractions. If you need to communicate due to co-parenting, opt for private messaging or specialized co-parenting apps.

Lean on Your Tribe for Emotional Support

During challenging times like divorce, having a support system can make all the difference. Reach out to friends and family who genuinely care about you and are willing to help. Don’t be afraid to ask for support when needed, whether it’s a listening ear, help with errands, or practical advice. Additionally, consider joining a divorce support group, either in-person or online, to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.

Practice Self-Care Routinely

Taking care of yourself is crucial for healing and finding closure. Engage in activities that make you feel good and nurtured. This might involve getting enough sleep, journaling, meditating, or doing something you enjoy regularly. Remember that self-care goes beyond the occasional indulgence; it’s about nurturing your overall well-being, physically and emotionally.

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In conclusion, finding closure after the end of a marriage is a challenging but necessary process for moving forward with your life. Honor your feelings, forgive yourself and your ex, set boundaries with social media, seek support from your tribe, and prioritize self-care. Remember that healing takes time, and it’s okay to seek professional help if needed. By following these six ways to achieve closure, you can begin the journey of healing and embracing your new chapter.


1. How long does it take to get closure after a divorce?

The time it takes to achieve closure after a divorce varies for each individual. It depends on factors such as the length of the marriage, the circumstances of the divorce, and personal resilience. Give yourself the time and space you need to heal.

2. Can closure be achieved if the divorce was contentious?

Yes, closure is still possible even if the divorce was contentious. The key is to focus on your healing and growth rather than dwelling on the past. Seek support from friends, family, or professionals to navigate through the challenges.

3. Is it normal to have mixed emotions after a divorce?

Yes, it’s entirely normal to have mixed emotions after a divorce. Ending a marriage is a significant life event, and it’s natural to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, relief, and hope for the future.

4. Should I stay friends with my ex after the divorce?

Whether or not to remain friends with your ex after divorce depends on your individual circumstances and feelings. If staying in touch brings unnecessary pain or hinders your healing process, it might be best to maintain some distance.

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5. Can closure be achieved without professional help?

Yes, closure can be achieved without professional help, especially if you have a strong support system and are committed to self-care. However, seeking professional assistance, such as therapy or counseling, can provide valuable guidance and support during the process.

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