5 Relationship Insights We’ve Learned as Divorce Lawyers


As relationship experts, we have had the privilege of listening to countless stories from clients who have experienced messy breakups. Through these experiences, we have learned valuable lessons that everyone should consider before walking down the aisle. In this article, we will share six essential tips to help you build a strong and lasting relationship.

Communication Issues Don’t Magically Disappear

One of the biggest misconceptions about marriage is that communication issues magically disappear after a breakup. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. If you have children and need to co-parent with your ex-partner, unresolved communication problems can continue to cause conflict. Instead of battling it out in court, consider post-separation counseling. Learning effective communication skills can help you find common ground and manage differing parenting styles amicably.

Consider a Prenuptial Agreement for a Second Marriage

While it may seem cynical, discussing a prenuptial agreement before a second marriage is a wise move. This conversation will prompt you and your partner to address important financial matters that you might have overlooked in your first marriage. It forces you to talk about joint assets, separate property, savings, and even debts. Understanding each other’s financial goals and expectations can prevent money-related conflicts down the road.

Money Matters – Understand Your Partner’s Financial Goals

Money can be a significant source of conflict in a relationship. Take the time to discuss your financial goals and management styles with your partner. Understanding how you both view money and approach financial decisions can avoid unnecessary stress and disagreements in the future. Compatibility in money matters is vital for a long-term, harmonious relationship.

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Communication is Key

Our clients often admit to being poor communicators in their previous relationships. Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner is crucial for a strong bond. Be an active conversation partner, thought partner, and laughter partner. Engaging in open and honest communication can strengthen your relationship and bring you closer together.

Shared Core Values Matter

A fundamental difference in moral values is a common cause of relationship breakdowns. It’s essential to identify and discuss your core values early on. When partners share common beliefs and priorities, they feel connected as a team working towards common goals. Trying to change your partner’s core values can lead to resentment and loneliness. Embrace and respect each other’s beliefs to build a solid foundation for your relationship.

Never Take Your Partner for Granted

Nobody is perfect, and that includes your partner. Learn to appreciate their unique qualities and efforts. We’ve seen couples on the brink of divorce reconcile because they realized the value of their relationship. Taking the time to show respect and admiration for your partner can lead to a deeper connection and a happier life together.


Marriage is a beautiful journey that requires effort, understanding, and dedication. By addressing communication issues, discussing financial matters, sharing core values, and appreciating your partner, you can build a lasting and fulfilling relationship. Remember, relationships require work, but the rewards are immeasurable.


  1. Is post-separation counseling effective for co-parenting conflicts?
    • Yes, post-separation counseling can be highly effective in resolving co-parenting conflicts and improving communication between parents.
  2. Should I consider a prenuptial agreement for a second marriage?
    • While it may seem uncomfortable to discuss, a prenuptial agreement can help protect both partners’ interests and prevent financial disputes in the future.
  3. How important is shared core values in a relationship?
    • Shared core values play a significant role in creating a strong and harmonious relationship. They help maintain alignment in priorities and goals.
  4. Can poor communication lead to a breakup?
    • Yes, poor communication is a common factor in relationship breakdowns. It is essential to actively communicate and listen to your partner’s needs.
  5. How can I avoid taking my partner for granted?
    • Show appreciation and respect for your partner regularly. Never assume that your partner knows how much you value them; express it through actions and words.
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